Throwing a little karma out to my fellow Flyers fans and the team as a whole. Let’s bring the building down on Wed night and send this series to a game 7.

(My favorite part of this video is at 1:12 where the little girl is hitting the boards behind the other teams player, great stuff.)

You were right about one thing; The Devils were a more skilled team than the Flyers, as will be the Caps (our likely second round opponent) and whoever we see if we keep playing. You were dead wrong about one thing when you all chose New Jersey. Sometimes heart, team play, sacrifice and a big streak of “fuck you” gets the job done as well. I’m really proud of my Flyers for pulling off the upset in the first round, even if we drop the next series it will still have been a good run. Oh and if you wanna know what it takes to win a playoff series as the underdog check out the video below. (warning there is blood, he was ok and tried to come back in the game after he got his 30 stitches)

This video is just in celebration. Well done, Black and Orange, keep it rolling.

So I’m writing this so that I don’t forget the details because I’m sure I’ll be telling this story for a long time. It’s the story of an impromptu hockey game, a crazy woman, and some water to the face.
Let’s start at the beginning;

Last Wednesday our friend emailed us and asked if she, her husband, and their son could come down to see our local AHL team play the farm team of their favorite NHL club. We had nothing planned and had not seen them in a bit so we excitedly agreed. Plans were finalized, tickets were purchased and we headed to the rink. We had splurged for the 17 dollar tickets so we were down nearish to the glass and were packed in kinda tight with some other folks. It became apparent that our little guy was ok with noise when it was a constant buzz but when the noise rose quickly from quiet to near roar he got spooked. GA threw a muslin blanket over her shoulder and his head then nursed him to calm him down.

That happened once more and GA decided to take our little guy up to the causeway that surrounded the arena. I went to join her as the period ended and found her flushed and furious. Some woman had approached her out of the blue, tapped her shoulder (this will be important later) and in a shitty, sarcastic voice told GA in no uncertain terms that GA had RUINED her evening by nursing our little guy when he was upset. It is important to point out here that we then saw that the woman’s seats were 15 rows back from our seats.

GA was too gob smacked to reply and the lady had stalked off supposedly in a cloud of self-righteousness. As GA told me this we were standing in line waiting for a drink and she pointed out “That’s her, there she is” I looked over and a frumpy, middle aged woman wearing a tacky multicolored coat and huge handbag was walking down the concourse. I locked eyes and gave her my best “fuck off and die”. She passed us and glared back at GA when my wife had enough. GA caught up with her, tapper her shoulder (yknow. Like the lady had done to her) and attempted to engage her in conversation. The other woman, who I will here on out refer to as SB (stupid bitch) begins YELLING “DON’T TOUCH ME, LADY” as she strides away. GA continued to try to talk to her and this woman continued to yell. Eventually GA punted and walked back over to me.

After a quick discussion GA and I decided to hang out for the rest of the game out on the concourse to spare our little man any more stress. It was while we were hanging out there that I noticed SB in a souvenir line and fawning over someone while getting his autograph.
She then turned and walked towards us. I realized she was going to have to walk past us to get back to her door to enter the seating area. As she got closed my inner dialogue played the balance of what I should do.

“I can just let this pass, she is stupid, GA and I know that and we will let it slide and be done with it. I can just let this go” I said in my head. Then came the answer. “The fuck I will”

As she stepped past us I fell in next to her, keeping sure to not invade her personal space.

“Hi there, since it’s apparently ok to walk up to strangers and say terrible things to them, I was wondering if you could explain to me…”
Her eyes got wide and she tried to frump more quickly to get away from me

“You are not allowed to talk to me!!”

“Um, yeah I am, and I will, now why…”

She frumped faster and began to yell

“FIRE!!!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!!’
Read that again, she yelled fire in a crowded public space. For you constitutional historians out there you will realize that is almost the exact example of what is not covered by free speech. A phrase dangerous enough not to be covered by the constitution and she was screaming it in the hopes that I would wilt away.

“I looked at the coliseum attendants who were staring at her like she was fucking insane and asked them
“Do you see a fire?”

SB was done yelling fire and shouted
“You are leaving me alone now!!!”
“No, I’m not; I’m still asking you…”

That’s when she threw her water on me. Yup she had been carrying a bottle of Dasani and she flipped it at me and covered my face and chest with water. Of all of my possible responses I don’t think she expected me to start laughing and respond with
“That is fantastic, you have fucked up now”

Wide eyed she tried to bolt in to the arena but unfortunately she walked right into a security guard. I think she was starting to talk but I said first.
“I want the police”
She got wide eyed again and the security guard said “What?”
“This woman has assaulted me and I would like to talk to the police about it”
She then attempted to scuttle back out the doors we had come in, and I pointed to her telling the guard.
“She trying to run away”
“Ma’am!” he said “You need to stay here”

She then moved to her seat which was a row away where he husband was sitting, gestured wildly at him and he stood up. I was right there when he did. He looked me up and down and then I stuck out my right hand. He warily took it and we shook as the cops asked SB back out in the hall to talk to her.
“Hey, man. What’s your name?” I asked
He seemed taken aback “Um, Les”
“Well Les, your wife took it upon herself to say some pretty nasty stuff to my wife out of the blue, screamed “Fire” in the coliseum and then throw water on me. You might want to go see what is up with the cops because I might be pressing assault charges. “
He rolled his eyes and looked exasperated and we both walked out in to the hall where there was a cop speaking to GA, another talking to SB and one waiting for me.

I explained the situation to him as another cop walked over. As I explained they both started shaking their heads. When I got to the part about her yelling “Fire” one of the cops asked me to repeat myself. In the end they kept her there while they asked me “What do you want to do?” The police explained that I could press charges but they would likely get thrown out in court.
“You know, I don’t want to press charges, I just want her to know I could have but didn’t”

The police then went to talk to her and I went over to stand with GA. There was some more wild gesturing on SB’s part but they led her back inside and to her seat. We then talked for 10 minutes to the cops and they apologized to us for her behavior and were joking with us. “Hey, at least you are not married to her” one said.

It is also worth mentioning that our little dude was great through all of this, either sleeping or just sitting in his sling, sucking on his fingers and watching the spectacle.

About this time to coliseum/ team folks showed up and began to apologize for her behavior. We just joked with them and then they offered to let us in the VIP lounge to watch the rest of the game. We accepted, I ran in to let our friends know what the hell had happened, and then one of the police officers escorted us down to the lounge. I cannot say enough how professional and pleasant the police and coliseum staff behaved. The VIP lounge was very nice and the free popcorn and drinks were nice too.

The rest of the night passed without incident and we met up with our friends and headed home. While it was bizarre and occasionally stressful I think all of us had a good time and a good laugh as we explained our very different evenings. As a memorial to our bizarre night when GA wrote a check to our friends to cover the ticket price she listed “ruining your evening” in the memo line.

Hilarious interview with Hexy who is now the Asst GM for the LA Kings.