LoL 3: Food for Thought

So the theme for this month’s Living out Loud project was food. We were to describe our overall feeling towards food and then try something new.
Overall I am not a picky eater, the list of foods I simply WILL NOT eat is short and mostly has to so with Hawaiian pizza.(which comes straight from the devil’s ass, in case you did not know) I enjoy sushi, Thai food, Pho, Indian food, Mexican, Chinese, and so on and so on. Eating has always been an adventure to me and while I have favorites, there are few things I wont try at least once.
So it was a bit of a challenge to find a food that I was wary to try but I did! Below is a pic that sums up the experience and then the tale of my adventure.

um...yummy?

Let me start the “new food” part of this out by saying that I am a fan of 7-11. I fondly remember slurpee runs in the heat of August and walks through the snow with my dad and brother to get 7-11 cocoa. Hell, I have an entire series of shenanigans that have taken place in or around that little store that is open from 7 till 11 but that is probably another post entirely. Suffice it to say that I have been thrown out of more than one 7-11 in my day. Anyway, my thesis statement here is that; “I am a 7-11 fan.”
Lately however I cannot help but feel as if the 7-11 corporation is either conducting a mass social experiment, blatantly fucking with us, or both.
The majority of my trips to the convenience store of the stars, these days, is for big ass sodas. Whether in the AM or at night after hockey games, 44 oz of cold caffeine is always on the menu. My path to the area of carbonated delights leads me past the “grill” area and I usually have a glance at the items slowly rotating over the heat. Other than the hotdog the main items are the taquitos. 7-11 has gone “all in” on the taquito market and they have been cranking out new flavors monthly and with dramatic affect. At first they were fairly normal, maybe “beef an cheddar” or “ham and swiss”. But that wasn’t enough ,7-11 wanted to push the taquitos envelope and came out with more exotic flavors like ‘breakfast burrito” of “buffalo chicken”. Then they just lost their goddamn minds and the whole thing became a big dare. I would walk past and see signs like “cream cheese and jalapeno” and “breakfast sausage omlette”. I always half expected another little sign on the glass to say “betcha won’t eat em…candyass” and they were right, I wouldn’t. Until now that is.
Seeking a new food to try, I headed into a familiar 7-11. Imaging my joy when I saw that taquitos were on sale! 3/$3.33! This adventure was off to a great start. I purchased a “Monterrey Jack and Chicken”, “Buffalo Chicken”, and a “Steak and Jack Cheese.” (oh yeah, and a big ass soda) It was difficult but I waited to get home to try them out so I could have GA snap pics, which can be found here:
First on the menu was the Monterrey Jack. I warmed them all up and bit in. It tasted like, well, nothing. O.k. not nothing it tasted like a deep fried tortilla but that’s it. I could see the little cubes of chicken and what looked vaguely like a cheese like item but tasted none of it. Next.
Up to bat was the Buffalo chicken. Now I love me some buffalo sauce and believe that it makes just about everything better so I had high hopes. The were lowered a bit when I bit in. It was not as bland as the Monterrey jack, though they had the exact same little chicken cubes. I could taste the buffalo sauce and god know I could see it as it glowed an almost fluorescent orange. A couple more bites left me underwhelmed but not disgusted.
Finally we came to the Steak and Jack cheese. Let me simply say that this thing was vile. The steak had a matted hair consistency and the jack cheese tasted like burning, and not in a “wow that’s really good spicy chili” kinda way. More like a “nature is warning me that I have eaten something I should not have” kinda way.
So…yeah. Operation “New Taquito” was hardly a success as far as finding new favorites. I think I will continue to walk past the grill, not stopping on my way to big-ass soda land. Let this serve as a reminder that sometimes what makes “new” an adventure is not a big success but a burning mouth and the need to rush to the bathroom. Gotta go…
More soon.